You will be well
February 28th 2009 23:04
When the hospital tells you that walking is good for you after a prostate op, they don't tell you how much you should pace yourself, and that feeling good when you start out walking may not mean you'll still feel good later in the day.
After the 4 km walk yesterday, I went home and had a snooze, as I probably mentioned in yesterday's post. However, when I got up I was feeling stiff in the legs - not surprising, since they've little that can be regarded as energetic for a while - and there were aches and pains around my prostate area that I didn't like.
Didn't sleep well during the night either. I've been tending to get up and go to the loo more than I would have prior to December, when all the catheter issues began, so I guess it's partly just learning to live with my normal self again. But last night was ridiculous. Kept feeling the need to go to loo even when I probably could have managed not to. And things were sorer than they had been for days.
My wife had basically said, around tea time last night, when I said I was feeling sore and such, 'Told you so.' This didn't go down terribly well.
One of the things the hospital doesn't explain in its after-care booklet, is how you'll feel. This is probably not surprising, because everyone will be feeling slightly different. However, this leaves you in a kind of limbo, where you don't know if what you're feeling is normal, abnormal, or off-the-wall. Nothing has been off-the-wall yet, but I haven't felt that it's all been normal either. Have to keep saying to myself: you are healing up, and healing always feels uncomfortable at times.
The trouble is, having been unwell for some time, you get nervous about any possibilities of going back to that unwell state again. At least I do. No doubt there are post-op blokes who feel like a box of birds and get on with life. I'm not one of them.
However, I had a strange thing happen the Thursday before I went into hospital. I was striking enough for me to remember exactly where I was (outside the old Guthrie Bowron's shop, opposite First Church in Moray Place) when it happened, and it was sometime after four in the afternoon. I was just heading back to work, thinking the usual things ('I hate catheters' for instance) when I definitely heard the words in my head: You will be well.
At the time I wasn't looking for any 'sign' or expecting to hear from God (as if you'd ever know when He was likely to speak!), but I know that this wasn't me reassuring myself.
When I say I heard 'You will be well' I can't even be sure that those were the exact words. 'Well' is the only one I'm still definite about! But it was certainly in that line of phrasing.
So that's something I'm hanging on to. I will be well. It's not a mantra, or a magic phrase or anything superstitious. It was one of those moments when God seems to speak right into your head. Thank God that He does!
After the 4 km walk yesterday, I went home and had a snooze, as I probably mentioned in yesterday's post. However, when I got up I was feeling stiff in the legs - not surprising, since they've little that can be regarded as energetic for a while - and there were aches and pains around my prostate area that I didn't like.
Didn't sleep well during the night either. I've been tending to get up and go to the loo more than I would have prior to December, when all the catheter issues began, so I guess it's partly just learning to live with my normal self again. But last night was ridiculous. Kept feeling the need to go to loo even when I probably could have managed not to. And things were sorer than they had been for days.
My wife had basically said, around tea time last night, when I said I was feeling sore and such, 'Told you so.' This didn't go down terribly well.
One of the things the hospital doesn't explain in its after-care booklet, is how you'll feel. This is probably not surprising, because everyone will be feeling slightly different. However, this leaves you in a kind of limbo, where you don't know if what you're feeling is normal, abnormal, or off-the-wall. Nothing has been off-the-wall yet, but I haven't felt that it's all been normal either. Have to keep saying to myself: you are healing up, and healing always feels uncomfortable at times.
The trouble is, having been unwell for some time, you get nervous about any possibilities of going back to that unwell state again. At least I do. No doubt there are post-op blokes who feel like a box of birds and get on with life. I'm not one of them.
However, I had a strange thing happen the Thursday before I went into hospital. I was striking enough for me to remember exactly where I was (outside the old Guthrie Bowron's shop, opposite First Church in Moray Place) when it happened, and it was sometime after four in the afternoon. I was just heading back to work, thinking the usual things ('I hate catheters' for instance) when I definitely heard the words in my head: You will be well.
At the time I wasn't looking for any 'sign' or expecting to hear from God (as if you'd ever know when He was likely to speak!), but I know that this wasn't me reassuring myself.
When I say I heard 'You will be well' I can't even be sure that those were the exact words. 'Well' is the only one I'm still definite about! But it was certainly in that line of phrasing.
So that's something I'm hanging on to. I will be well. It's not a mantra, or a magic phrase or anything superstitious. It was one of those moments when God seems to speak right into your head. Thank God that He does!
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