Got the blues...
January 4th 2007 21:38
It may be a reaction to my mother's recent death, or it may be just the frustration of being in a job where I'm merely the boy, but last night, after
work, I really had the blues.
It's quite humbling to be back at the bottom of the pile, with no authority about anything, no say in anything, having to ask permission to do this or that (relatively speaking) and in general being ignored by the staff who've been there longer. Some of the older staff are good, but a couple of the young ones refuse to look me in the eye, as though they were wary of having to face the dinosaur that's in their midst.
And then there's the peculiar feeling of not knowing things. I don't know what really goes on in the big room next door, where two machines image the cheques received and whizz them through at a rate of knots, sorting as they go. Then there's a room beyond that, with lots of boxes. I've never yet been in the position to have ventured into either of these, although I can see into both of them since we have glass between our section and the machines.
Having been used, for so long, to knowing exactly where everything is and what everything is for, it's a most odd feeling to be without knowledge.
the boy
It's quite humbling to be back at the bottom of the pile, with no authority about anything, no say in anything, having to ask permission to do this or that (relatively speaking) and in general being ignored by the staff who've been there longer. Some of the older staff are good, but a couple of the young ones refuse to look me in the eye, as though they were wary of having to face the dinosaur that's in their midst.
And then there's the peculiar feeling of not knowing things. I don't know what really goes on in the big room next door, where two machines image the cheques received and whizz them through at a rate of knots, sorting as they go. Then there's a room beyond that, with lots of boxes. I've never yet been in the position to have ventured into either of these, although I can see into both of them since we have glass between our section and the machines.
Having been used, for so long, to knowing exactly where everything is and what everything is for, it's a most odd feeling to be without knowledge.
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