Leading a disciplined life....or not
September 9th 2007 07:40
One thing I find about this long holiday is that I’ve become so undisciplined. Thinking about planning ahead as to where we’re going next and even doing some of the day to day things all require extra effort. Maybe they always did, and the holiday is just highlighting that!
When our children were young I would get up at six each morning to spend some time reading my Bible, praying, thinking about life and so on. At seven I’d rouse the children (and my wife) and get everyone moving. We had to be out of the house by eight in the later years to get the older children to school on the other side of town. Most nights I’d be in bed by 10.30.
But in the last couple of years or so, with no children in the house and no need to rush so much, getting up in the morning has been very variable. There’s barely been a routine, and often I’m late to bed which makes things worse the next morning. You could say that the discipline years are having a rest, and that life doesn’t need to be the same forever. Yes, that’s fair enough. But certain things – for me – need to be more focused, and that’s not happening at all.
Prayer particularly is a thing I need to be disciplined about. It’s like playing an instrument: avoiding the daily routine of keeping the fingers nimble and the mind supple soon shows in how well or badly you play. Prayer is the same. It’s now more of a struggle than ever to focus, and my mind wanders all over, finding no resting place.
In some respects this may have to be the case until we get home again, and the routine of having to get up for work and having to get the day off to a decent footing kicks in. In the meantime, however, I don’t particularly want to be struggling with this issue: it affects how I feel about life, about people; it affects how I behave towards others for better or worse; it affects my moods and probably many other things. That early space in the day has become an essential for me, and letting it slide isn’t doing me any good.
When our children were young I would get up at six each morning to spend some time reading my Bible, praying, thinking about life and so on. At seven I’d rouse the children (and my wife) and get everyone moving. We had to be out of the house by eight in the later years to get the older children to school on the other side of town. Most nights I’d be in bed by 10.30.
But in the last couple of years or so, with no children in the house and no need to rush so much, getting up in the morning has been very variable. There’s barely been a routine, and often I’m late to bed which makes things worse the next morning. You could say that the discipline years are having a rest, and that life doesn’t need to be the same forever. Yes, that’s fair enough. But certain things – for me – need to be more focused, and that’s not happening at all.
Prayer particularly is a thing I need to be disciplined about. It’s like playing an instrument: avoiding the daily routine of keeping the fingers nimble and the mind supple soon shows in how well or badly you play. Prayer is the same. It’s now more of a struggle than ever to focus, and my mind wanders all over, finding no resting place.
In some respects this may have to be the case until we get home again, and the routine of having to get up for work and having to get the day off to a decent footing kicks in. In the meantime, however, I don’t particularly want to be struggling with this issue: it affects how I feel about life, about people; it affects how I behave towards others for better or worse; it affects my moods and probably many other things. That early space in the day has become an essential for me, and letting it slide isn’t doing me any good.
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