How to run a caravanning and camping site
September 19th 2007 15:25
This photo isn't of a camp site I've been to - but it has similarities!
Make sure that everyone has to have a key just to go to the toilet - and has to pay a deposit for said key.
Make sure that the hot taps in the wash basins won’t stay on for more than two seconds, and have to be held down in order to keep them flowing. (This is to make it more difficult when the customers are trying to wash their hands.)
Don’t put a curtain on the showers. This will ensure that the customer’s clothes and towel get damp while he or she is taking a shower. And let the shower tap be as difficult to figure out as possible. If you can avoid letting them have hot water, all the better.
For washing up dishes provide a special room, but don’t let there be hot water taps to any of the sinks. A good alternative is to have a single hot tap with a bucket under it. The customer then has to fill the bucket and pour the water into the sink.
And don’t forget to provide skylights only for the washroom. This means that customers trying to wash up their dishes on an autumn evening won’t be able to see what they’re doing.
Put the people sleeping in tents as far as possible away from the toilet block. This will ensure they water the area around their tent very well.
Don’t let there be a single tree on the site. This gives a sparse ambience to the place, and ensures people feel thoroughly conspicuous at all times (especially when they're having an early morning pee!).
Finally put up lots of signs, especially warning notices. This makes people really feel at home.
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